Friday, 18 December 2015

Modern Day Samaritan Woman



When time permits I join a group of writers for Five Minute Friday, hosted by KateMotaung. Every week we write for five minutes after receiving a one word prompt. No editing or over thinking involved….Just writing for the love of writing. For more information please visit Kate Motaung at Heading Home. 

 This week we were invited to choose our own word.

My choice was:


Every day of our lives we make choices. Starting with getting up out of bed and for the rest of the day conscious and unconscious choices are made. Most of which we hardly really think about. We just progress from one choice to the other.

But on occasion we are forced to stop and make life changing choices.

During the past two weeks I reached a CROSSROAD in my life where I had to think hard and pray hard and make some life changing choices…

They were not easy decisions to make but they were necessary.

Soul Saving Necessary…


And noted that…

I could continue on an unsteady, unstable pathway…offering only abandonment, loneliness, sorrow and emotional abuse …


I could turn off to the left or to the right and walk into a mist of uncertainty…walk in an entirely different direction, and simultaneously take control of my own life and choices.

So I am choosing a life of peaceful solitude and freedom versus a life of isolated loneliness and confinement.

I am choosing a life of liberty to laugh at adversity versus a life of domination with no voice.

I am choosing to control my destiny versus being swept aside against my will.

I choose for the second time in my life to lay down my plans and dreams ….

I am choosing life…the abundant life offered by my Saviour…

He knows the way and if I choose to listen closely, then I will hear His voice and the mist that surrounds me does not matter…because He will lead and I will follow Him all the way home.

In between, 2016 looms gloriously near with the promise of new beginnings, new opportunities and a brand new slate.


*Hugs* till next time.


Friday, 4 December 2015

Modern Day Samaritan Woman



When time permits I join a group of writers for Five Minute Friday, hosted by Kate Motaung. Every week we write for five minutes after receiving a one word prompt. No editing or over thinking involved….Just writing for the love of writing. For more information please visit Kate Motaung at Heading Home.

 The word for this week is:

Kate Motaung wrote a beautiful book called Letters to Grief…And on the anniversary of this book…



Letter to Grief

Dear Grief,

Yes I am addressing you as “dear”, although I do not really like you at all; but you are a familiar companion, having accompanied me for most of life.
You have imposed yourself on my hospitality on more occasions than is polite to do so and for the most part you have always overstayed your welcome.

Just like a spider spins its web in dark corners, so do you seek any and every opportunity to ambush me unexpectedly and cruelly. Have you no mercy?

There have been occasions when I have seen you coming down the road towards me, but try as I might to avoid you, you are unavoidable. You are like a chronic illness, always just below the surface, waiting to make your presence known to me.

You are no respecter of seasons either. Like death you just invade, overwhelm and cover me with such a heavy cloak of sadness at times, that there have been occasions when I was certain that I would drown in the dark folds of your weight…

From my earliest childhood memories, I can recall you sitting on my bed like a “nanny”, watching and observing my reaction to your presence. Ever ready to impose another test on me…

As a young mother, I recall your hovering over my children, and you had no boundaries, diving right into my marriage over and over again, and yet here you are, after all this time still in my peripheral vision. Is there no end to your testing? Will I never pass this exam and be rid of you forever?

I have had to watch helplessly, as you imposed your unwelcome presence on my loved ones,  knowing that I could do nothing more than love them and hug them tight, as I pried your gnarled and ugly fingers from their flesh and hearts, and forced you to loosen your grip on them.
Proverbs 14:13
“Even in laughter the heart may be in pain, And the end of joy may be grief.” (AMP)

No, I can’t say that I like you very much. The heaviness, sadness and dreaded pain that accompany your presence are just too much sometimes. Knowing that you are ever ready to pounce, does nothing to endear me to you.

No Sir!!! Not even close….

But, try as I might to be rid of you, I instinctively know that I need you – what a dreadful paradox …

Because your dogged persistence and endless unsolicited visits, my character is shaped and refined and this makes me a better person. In your undesirable presence, I learn to be less judgmental, and more merciful to others. In your presence, I find comfort in my fellow man who has also been afflicted by your unwelcome visits.
In your presence I learn to turn to my Creator for HIS grace and mercy. Your consistency is probably one of the main reasons I dare not stray too far away from my Saviour, and for that reason alone, do I tolerate you because when “My soul dissolves because of grief; (Father) Renew and strengthen me according to [the promises of] Your word.” Psalm 119:28


*Hugs* till next time.


Wednesday, 2 December 2015

Modern Day Samaritan Woman


An Open Letter To All Step-Children …

I have been a step daughter since I was a child and I am now a step mother.
My biological children are also step children to their father’s wife and I believe this provides me with a unique perspective and I would like to address the following with all step-children everywhere.

I realise that the following is a generalization and that there are always exceptions, but the following is a result of my own personal experiences.

Sadly, with hindsight, I realized I was the type of step daughter that merely ignored my step mother. It wasn’t truly deliberate and thankfully we didn’t have any conflicts or anything dramatic; but I neglected to acknowledge that she was very good wife and companion to my father and after all these years, she is the one that kept him company, nursed his illnesses and has been at his side through thick and thin and so this open letter is in some small way a dedication to my step mom Trudy.

A truly remarkable woman… I know this is late but thank you for loving my father…

Dear Step Child,

Have you ever considered that your step mom / dad didn’t specifically seek your parent out of all the potential spouses in the world? They didn’t hunt and stalk them to enchant them and steal them from you or even take your place. (I hate to say this but you didn’t even feature at this point). They simply met, whether by chance or destiny, it doesn’t matter which. They were both lonely, fell in love and chose to remarry (at great risk) and to build a life together. No one wants to be alone, especially in old age. Not even your mother / father. Just because they did not discuss their loneliness with you does not mean they haven’t been lonely.

Your parent is still YOUR parent and always will be. Contrary to all the stereotypes, your step mom / dad does not really want to take that place of your mom / dad. Give your step mom / step dad a break…you are not going to be there to hold your mom / dads hand every single night for the rest of their lives. Given just half a chance, your step mom / step dad will be there comforting and providing companionship to your parent.  A time will come when you have your own family to nurture…Be thankful that your mom / dad does not have to live out their remaining years alone…

Being a second wife / husband is similar to driving a second hand car. (No matter how much a person cleans it, studies and maintains it, you can’t know everything that happened to the car in its history). Just the same, your step mom / dad can’t know everything that happened to your dad / mom in the past, except what he / she chose to share. Your step parent won’t know every dent, every hurt, every failure, every insecurity brought about by his / her encounters with the previous women / men that they encountered in their lives. Just as your parent and / or you won’t know every hurt and insecurity your step parents carry. Some things are too personal to be discussed with everyone. They never the less are very real. Everyone carries their own share of pain and your step parent is actually human…

However, just because your step parent does not automatically know everything in your mother / father’s history, this does not make your step parent an inferior husband or wife. (Someone to disregard or worse misuse and abuse). The role your step parent plays in the marriage is just as real as a first time spouse’s role. Most step parents / second husbands / wives take it just as seriously, with the exception that they have to be more careful than usual because they don’t want to inadvertently hurt their new wives / husbands, where they are already vulnerable.

The home that your mom / dad and step parent are building together is very real and is the foundation for their future. Remember you will eventually move on to your own marriages and lives, and build your own homes. They are not playing a game of housey - housey.

(In fact their marriage, as a whole is not a game to be exited and restarted at any point).

This is it…The real deal!!!

They are building a home and a foundation for their marriage. Their furniture, ornaments and house rules are their prerogative. Every home operates on their own particular house rules. Don’t disregard the house rules that are implemented by your step parents just because you are not accustomed to them, or because the step parent has implemented them. One day you may very well implement some of those very same house rules into your own homes…and quite rightly expect them to be respected…

Ignoring you step mother or step father is just plain rude and hurtful. Something I am guilty of and regret very much. They are fulfilling a very important role in your mom / dad’s life.

A role that you are unable to fulfil.

Your mother / father would not have remarried if this were not the case.

BUT ignoring them is the preferred option than to deliberately sabotage the relationship and creating unnecessary conflict in the already fragile marriage.

Forcing your mother / father to have to choose between you and their new husband / wife is truly spiteful and unnecessary.  Do you realize that every single conflict that you directly instigate between your mom / dad and his / her spouse causes tiny hair-line fractures and cracks in the marriage that may not be able to withstand the real pressures of life when they occur? Financial pressures, illness, unemployment and any number of other things they will face as a couple together.

Second marriages are fragile and very few withstand the pressure and problems that automatically accompany life. By adding to the pressures and creating unnecessary conflicts just because you can and just because you don’t like the idea that your parent has remarried and / or just because you feel rebellious about the changes and new rules that accompanied the new marriage… you are contributing to what may well become a divorce in your mother / fathers future. 

Do you realize that divorce hurts…and that you own mother and father will be hurt, as much as your step mom / step dad?

It is my opinion that most step parents enter the second marriage with every intention of being “good” step mothers / fathers; intending to be a positive influence in the lives of their extended blended families, however, over time, and because of constant disrespect, abuse, lies , blatant sabotage on the part of the step children, (and in some cases no backing from the biological parent) the step parent eventually simply retreats and becomes a “bad” step parent, preferring to withdraw from their step children lives than to be constantly bombarded by conflict and heartbreak.

By the time a marriage reaches this point the hair line cracks have already begun to expand and become larger cracks…everyone a vulnerability to the integrity and strength of the marriage. Do you really want to be the reason your parent has to undergo the additional pain and humiliation of starting life over again, alone???

Just saying!!! Give your step mom and dad a chance. You may be surprised…You may even notice that your own mom / dad actually laugh more, and are happier…

*Hugs* till next time.


Tuesday, 24 November 2015

Modern Day Samaritan Woman

Update!!! Coming to Terms with 
placing Mom in a Home.

Previously I shared about placing mom in a home and you can read that blog here

Then I shared how she was evicted within 24 hours after I queried her bruises. You can read that story here.

Now I would like to share how God stepped into desperate circumstances and rescued us!!! 

Our God is an Awesome God!!

Since the two previous blog posts several things have occurred that have not only restored my faith in mankind, but have also reminded me in the most amazing manner that God is still very much in charge and still very much involved in the daily activities and concerns of His children.

Summary of events since mom’s eviction:

I collected mom from the facility on the 11th of November 2015, and took her home, where she remained with my brother and sister-in-law, while I searched for a new facility for her. The search was urgent, and since we all work, time was of the essence. In the interim however, she became increasingly difficult to manage at home, restless and irritable because she was moved so often and completely out of her steady routine. However, on the 13th of November 2015, after she bit her young eight year old grand-daughter, because she wanted the doll she was playing with, we took her to the local hospital, in the hopes that they would be able to assist us.

She was immediately admitted, due to a lung infection that we were unaware of and treated on antibiotics for six (6) days. This gave us the opportunity to look around for a home. A small breather, but still we knew the search was urgent.

However, despite finding several different homes for the aged available, all of them require the necessary funds in order to admit her and since the funds I had were already paid to the previous home for November, my hands were tied. I simply had none. The social worker that I had approached for assistance also searched for a place for mom and couldn’t find one that would take mom without payment. I had reached a catch – 22 situation in which I could find homes, but couldn’t pay.

Meanwhile mom was going to be discharged from the hospital any day and we had to find something fast.

Have you ever felt so desperate that the pressure builds up within you and you feel as if you are going to explode into a thousand pieces? Your teeth almost constantly clenched against the stress that your jaw feels sore.

Perhaps even now while you reading this you are feeling exactly like this.

The pressure doesn’t let up because you must provide something and yet no matter how many phone calls, e-mails or pleas you make there just aren’t any solutions. Your body physically aches with the stress and mental anguish. Night times become a wrestling match with your bedding while you toss and turn and try come up with new ideas. Day times are spent between trying to fulfil your obligations and making endless phone calls and internet searches for assistance. In between you toss up random desperate “Oh Lord” cries, because you know He is the only One who can provide a solution, yet you seem incapable of even articulating a decent prayer request, far less actually praying it.

David also understood this kind of pressure. He cried out to God much like we still do…

Psalm 142:3-7 As I sink in despair, my spirit ebbing away, you know how I’m feeling, Know the danger I’m in, the traps hidden in my path. Look right, look left— there’s not a soul who cares what happens! I’m up against it, with no exit— bereft, left alone. I cry out, God, call out: ‘You’re my last chance, my only hope for life!’ Oh listen, please listen; I’ve never been this low. Rescue me from those who are hunting me down; I’m no match for them. Get me out of this dungeon so I can thank you in public. Your people will form a circle around me and you’ll bring me showers of blessing!” (The Message) Emphasis my own

(I have hope for you!!! Real tangible hope!!!
Just read on…)

On Monday afternoon, 16th of November 2015, just when I had reached the point of “almost” giving up, despite this not really being an option, since mom is my responsibility and I HAD to find a solution…I received a phone call from an acquaintance, requesting my bank details because he said that God was pressing on his heart to give me money for mom…

I was quite stunned and speechless, but I gave him my bank details and shortly afterwards, he paid a huge amount of money into my bank.

WOW!!! WOW!!! WOW!!!

Who does that? For a stranger? In this day and age? And in the middle of month? Seriously I cannot even begin to describe the relief, the amazement, and I admit I cried for hours…It was the most beautiful gesture and at exactly the right time.

God had already provided for mom at the beginning of the month and again, right in the middle of the month, He provided all over again… His first provision was stolen, but He owns all resources…He simply provided again. Where I couldn’t, He could and He did.

How Great is our God!!!

Needless to say, I spent that night in serious prayer. Now that I had the much needed, very welcome funds I didn’t want one cent of this money to be wasted. Every single cent belonged to God and I asked Him for the wisdom to know where to place mom. I tossed and turned again all night, but not in worry this time. This time it was thanksgiving and wonder…I knew that I had to still make the necessary phone calls but I also was so certain that He would show me exactly where He had planned for mom to be.
Within 24 hours I had my answer. On the 17th of November 2015, a simple message from a friend on Face Book to try a telephone number provided was all it took. I called the number late in the afternoon and when I spoke to the person who answered the phone, I immediately knew that I had found the place that would provide for mom.

When I asked how much I would need to pay in order to have her admitted directly upon discharge from the hospital, the amount they requested was precisely to the cent the amount that had been paid into my bank account. God had provided exactly the right amount.

There are no words to properly explain how desperate the situation was and no words to explain how in a matter of just 24 hours, when I was truly at my lowest, God turned the whole situation that was meant for evil, into good.

 On Friday, 20th of November 2015, mom was discharged from the hospital and moved into her new home. She immediately loved her room, the staff and other residents made her so very welcome, and by Saturday when I visited her again, she was quite settled in.

Have I mentioned how Great God is???

James 1:2-4[ Faith Under Pressure ] Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.” (The Message) Emphasis my own

This whole experience reminded me of a time many years ago when my son decided to start his own ant colony in an aquarium. He collected his sand and foliage and constructed things within his aquarium until the optimum conditions were met and then he introduced his ants to the aquarium. Day by day he provided the right amount of water and humus, funguses and whatever else was required by ants in order for them to thrive. They in turn dug their tunnels and chambers and every day when the worker ants emerged to forage they found the things they needed and carried, dragged the various items back into their tunnels and chambers.

The ants were unaware of their benefactor who daily tended to their requirements; but this did not mean that he (my son) was not indeed present and providing. At the time we spoke about the similarity of the relationship between God and mankind. God provides on a daily basis, and despite us being unaware of His provision, He is never the less providing just what we need.

There were times of calamity when tunnels that were dug precariously or too near the surface would collapse and the ants would pour out from other tunnels in order to escape. My son would grieve the losses encountered but would very carefully assist the ants by stabilizing the sand and/or foliage, and before long things would be as before. Similarly, calamity will occasionally occur on earth and in our personal lives, and although these things are sometimes blamed on God, they are more accurately acts of men, making bad choices or decisions that culminate in the tragedy.

He is ever faithful. Taking care of His creation.

As I mentioned in my first blog when I placed my mom in the home “my hope lies in the fact that my Creator lives and He still has the whole world in His hands …He reaches Mom when I can’t. He protects her when I’m not there. He comforts her with His presence when she is lonely and afraid…He will provide the answers. He truly is an Awesome God!!! We are never alone!!!

*Hugs* till next time.


Tuesday, 10 November 2015

Modern Day Samaritan Woman

Update!!! Coming to Terms with 
placing Mom in a Home.

Myth versus reality of Alzheimer’s 

Previously I wrote about placing mom in a home and you can read that blog here

Since then several things have occurred. Some good, but some extremely tasteless and quite unimaginable also.

I am appealing to all my readers to please read this blog and forward to as many people as possible because despite all the wonderful things done and written about Alzheimer’s, this blog is the reality of one obscure unknown family that desperately requires real tangible assistance. I am hoping that when you read this blog you will have an idea of how traumatic and difficult it really is to care for a loved one with Alzheimer’s when there is really no tangible real assistance available. Many people have opinions as what I should or should not do but without the funds available I simply cannot do any of these things.  Please read and if you sympathise and agree please share….It’s so very important to my family and I…If you don’t agree or think I am over the top its ok to ignore…At this point I’m no longer certain what the moral high ground really is anymore. It seems to me that anyone can do as they please nowadays…

According to Google Alzheimer’s is defined as progressive mental deterioration that can occur in middle or old age, due to generalized degeneration of the brain. It is the commonest cause of premature senility.

Blah blah blah !!!!   There are hundreds of sites on the internet all offering advice and blog posts and I can tell you that we have read most of them.

Did you know that this is supposedly Alzheimer’s awareness month and there is even a pretty purple ribbon that is circulating on Face Book and elsewhere to create awareness?

I have soaked up all the information on the internet like a piece of parched, dry ground that hasn’t seen water for years…But all this advice has meant “diddly squat” because we were unprepared for the blend of heartlessness and indifference we were to encounter.

Secondly, the sufferer is our mother and grandmother. You know…… the person everyone usually runs to for advice and guidance and just the comfort of a hug when your life is falling apart…like My mom has Alzheimer’s and I don’t know what to do and my heart is breaking because we are losing her and we can’t save her from this”. The only problem with this scenario is the person I want to run to for comfort and advice is the very person suffering from this horrible monstrous disease.

So the next step is naturally approach the professionals. The people who have studied and who work with Alzheimer’s patients for advice and guidance. This is obviously the next step in the logical sequence of things…

Except for one minor problem. In order to obtain professional assistance one has to have a lot of money. Money, just lying around waiting for the day that it would be required. Unfortunately my family and I are not so fortunate as to have a lot of money available to just place mom and expect excellent service.

No, we had to make numerous phone calls and mail numerous e-mails. While all the time struggling to cope and manage with mom at home. Eventually our prayers were answered and we found a place willing to take mom for the amount we could afford to club together.
Oh! The relief was tangible and we were all so excited that we had managed, despite the odds against us and the months of serious struggle to find a place for mom. Even mom was excited. Somewhere in her muddled brain she understood the pressure would be off us.

However within the first three weeks we already had concerns because mom went from 


I have darkened the edges only to hide the background.
The picture has not been tampered with in any manner.

In addition she had bruises on her arms and an open sore that was oozing blood and was uncovered when we visited with her. So as concerned family members we queried this (I think all responsible persons would do the same?) and the explanation provided was the student nurses were a bit rough and had been disciplined and retrained. 

 16 August 2015

16 August 2015

23 August 2015

My mother was also moved to another facility that could provide one on one care until her sores had healed. My brother and I accepted the explanation, after all these were the professionals and we were still attempting to merely come to terms with the knowledge that we were losing mom, one painful day at a time.

In the meantime I had sent a request that my mom remained within the home. At the time I sincerely believed that it was a better facility to care for her in that it was more “hospital like” and since she remained there for two months and I received no feedback whatsoever we believed that the matter was settled and that she could remain there.

However, on the 31st of October 2015, my brother went to visit her only to find that she wasn’t there at all, and had been moved without our knowledge of consent back to the original facility. Naturally we were upset as no one had bothered to inform us.  This person is our mother…a much loved, mourned for mother…not a possession or a piece of old furniture that can be moved around just like that.

She was then transferred to a third facility on the same day and we assumed that the matter was settled since we received no further feedback whatsoever from the powers that be and our numerous calls to the facility were met with “All is in order” responses, until I made my usual “check on mom” call on Thursday, the 5th of November 2015, only to find that she had again been moved back to the original facility, again without the families knowledge or consent. Apparently, if you are not paying the full amount, the powers that be can do as they please and the family are not required to be notified.

Naturally we were indeed upset about this because not only was it a shock to us, no one had informed us and we had no idea what was going on. Why was she moved? What exactly was the problem? No one could tell us and we were instructed to consult with the owner as she made the decision. She did not answer her phone and my e-mail went unanswered.

On the 6th of November 2015, my brother and I visited with mom and the Sister on Duty did an amazing job of calming us down and explaining that mom was apparently very unmanageable at the two facilities and was therefore transferred back. Just this one afternoon of direct communication already made us both feel better and we were departed believing completely that mom was in the best care.

We had not known that mom was difficult and naturally even had we known we would have expected the facilities to manage since they claim to be professional service providers to Alzheimer’s patients. During our visit; however we were concerned as mom had significantly more bruises than previously. (Apparently this was how she looked when she arrived and the explanation provided was that it was self-inflicted due to her attempting to climb out of windows and escape under hedges). If someone had communicated this with us during our weekend visits and numerous phone calls we would certainly have made the effort to either have the doctor adjust her medication or whatever the home suggested we do. After all, we are ignorant as to what we are supposed to do in these situations and rely on the home to provide us with the education and information.

06 November 2015
Below: Bruises and sores above the area where mom had a hip replacement and femur bone repair in April 2015. Who knows what it looks like inside?

Anyhow despite these photos we still believed that mom would be alright. The Sister on duty did am amazing job of reassuring us. After all we have made our concerns known. I had also expressed my heartbreak on a site on Face Book without mentioning the facility, only to attempt to find assistance and maybe some comfort or at the very least to find advice. Advice which I desperately needed.

After all…What exactly is the right response to the above? 
Who do you speak to? 
Who even cares? 
What is the right response when you cannot pay the full amount and are at the mercy of other people more powerful and wealthier than you are who call all the shots and blatantly ignore phone calls and e-mails? 
What is the right response when you are desperately scraping your cents together every single month to ensure the care of someone you love, while doing anything and everything necessary to make sure the nappies, toiletries and medication is provided on time and ahead of time? 

I know that I am not paying an absolute fortune but for me it may as well be millions because IT IS ALL THAT I HAVE!!! What exactly is the right response?

Do we just ignore the above bruises? 

Pretend they aren’t there? 

Blame mom for trying to escape when she is suffering from Alzheimer’s. 

This is why she is there in the first place. 

Entrusted into the care of people who claim to be the professionals.  

Finally, today on the 10th of November 2015, I received the long awaited response to my e-mail only to be attacked falsely as a bad payer and complainer of all sorts of irrelevant things I had never even thought about complaining about. Anything to discredit me and my two very legitimate concerns.There was no mention of the fact that mom had been moved without our knowledge and a brief no “big deal” mention made of the aforementioned bruises, because they were ALL self-inflicted anyway, but plenty of innuendo regarding how difficult mom is and what a terrible a payer I am. I agree I am not paying the full R7000-00 to R8000-00 and again I concede that the facility kindly agreed to this. However, we are also not receiving a total charity either, whereby we are contributing nothing at all. We are paying the pre-agreed amount. 

We are paying R5000-00 in total every single month, on time and always before the 1st of every month.

In addition to the above mentioned “Rent” we supply approximately R2000-00 worth of nappies, R500-00 for medication and another ±R500-00 towards toiletries every single month without fail.

None of above is a complaint. This is done with love for mom because she deserves this. We would obviously love to do more but we are stretched beyond our means at this point. However, had the home at any time consulted with me and informed me that they were no longer satisfied with the pre-arranged agreement regarding payment, we would certainly have made every effort in order to cooperate with them. The truth is no one ever mentioned this and we were under the impression that the agreement was still in order.

Then within minutes, of receiving the above mentioned e-mail I received another e-mail from the home informing me that mom’s contract has been terminated and that I have 24 hours in which to move her out.

My reaction:

       This is merely a spiteful, extremely unprofessional move. If they who are the professionals cannot manage her because she is “such a risk to herself and others” how are we who are uneducated regarding Alzheimer’s and definitely not professional supposed to cope at home? 

After all Alzheimer’s / Dementia Care is the full Crux of their Internet Advertising. 

How then can they claim that they are not coping? 

How are they managing the other Alzheimer Patients? 

Could my mother really be the only “difficult” patient? 

Is this not the full point of their Group’ existence? 

So instead of meeting with me, discussing the matter between adults 
and cooperating with mutually supporting solutions, 

there is now a tit for tat e-mail ping pong game, 
throwing about irrelevant accusations. 


 Is this really the correct response to what I truly believe to be legitimate concerns? 

I never in any manner spoke to any staff member disrespectfully nor 
made any accusations against the facility, owners or staff members. I merely was upset because she was moved without my knowledge, surely something that could have been accomplished with one phone call and queried how she had obtained so many bruises.

Clearly, the end of the matter is we dare not complain or raise a concern. The powers that be will not stand for it and since we; the poor people have no voice or authority of any kind we have to accept everything happens without a word???

After all they are making the huge concession of permitting us to pay less. ??? 

We are certainly appreciative of the arrangement that was made and although we are not paying the full amount, we are sticking to the PRE-AGREED amount without failing to pay and definitely never late.

Really is that what this world and the world of Alzheimer’s Care Givers 
has amounted to?

The sad fact is and the end of the matter is that this is a person, a seventy-eight year old woman, lady and mother that does not deserve any of this. She did not ask to suffer from Alzheimer’s, and were she able to understand she would have been quite distressed to know that she had been the center of such a struggle. This is a creative, artistic lady that produced many beautiful drawings, stories and paintings in her time, all the while working hard and raising two children single handily. She paid her taxes and contributed to the growth in this country, in her time. 

She should be looked after and cared for and loved by her family and this is what we all expected to do willingly; however none of us foresaw the Alzheimer’s that was to follow.

Why is it so difficult to find professional assistance in this regard? As mentioned earlier this is Alzheimer’s Awareness Month. Sending pretty purple ribbons around, certainly creates a form of awareness but so much more is needed, in order to assist the families who are facing this.

As I sit here typing and reliving this all over again, worrying about what the 11th of November 2015 will bring and trusting God with a solution, because quite frankly I cannot understand any of the above. 

Is no one accountable anymore?

Does throwing an old woman out of a much needed care facility really do justice simply because the family have raised a few concerns?

Are there no more morals and simply “This is the right thing” anymore?

Does everything amount to our bank accounts and how much we can pay or better yet get out of someone else?

As I mentioned in my first blog when I placed my mom in the home “my hope lies in the fact that my Creator lives and He still has the whole world in His hands …He reaches Mom when I can’t. He protects her when I’m not there. He comforts her with His presence when she is lonely and afraid…He will provide the answers and He will not let anyone (including me) get away with mistreating another person, exploiting a situation for my own ends, or merely looking the other way just because someone does not have enough money to just hand over.”

*Hugs* till next time.