Friday, 21 August 2015

Modern Day Samaritan Woman


I have recently joined a group of writers for Five Minute Friday, hosted by Kate Motaung. Every week we write for five minutes after receiving a one word prompt. No editing or over thinking involved….Just writing for the love of writing. For more information please visit Kate Motaung at Heading Home. 

 The word for this week is :


I have learned to FIND my pleasures in simplicity:

A beautiful sun rise…

My daughter’s devotion to peace and harmony…

My future son-in-law’s gentle love for my daughter…

My son’s dedication to truth and purpose…

My step-daughter’s commitment to her daughter…

My eldest step-daughter’s tenacity in the face of adversity…

My step son’s determination to have the last word…

My step-grand-children’s, hugs and smiles…

My husband’s blue eyes that pierces all of my resistance…

My health that endures despite age…

My pet’s adoration…

My assurance of salvation by a Gentle Saviour….

Yes I FIND my pleasures in simplicity…

Those things without price that cannot be bought or sold…

Simply enjoyed by someone like me who does not really 
deserve them but has them anyhow…

What a Blessed Woman I am!!!


*Hugs* till next time.


Modern Day Samaritan Woman

Sticks & Stones will break my Bones, 
but words will never harm me!!!!.

Resolving conflicts in the wrong way!!!

This blog post is specially for all the Step Moms, Dads and Step Children. 
It is a very sensitive blog for reasons that will become obvious as you read, but I am going to address this matter, as I believe it’s necessary to be transparent (especially when you want to find and provide assistance  from and to other people) without stepping on toes and hurting feelings any more than is necessary.

During the past two weeks I experienced the total breakdown of my relationships with all of my step children and watched as my daughter’s relationship with her step father also fragmented. These fragile relationships, like prized, incomparable, brand new shiny vases shattered into tiny fragments of broken glass, cutting deep, as they splintered, cracked and unexpectedly exploded.

I have since tried to gather all the broken pieces together, but it almost seems like a pointless exercise, because I know that even as I trace and match and size the pieces they will never fit back together in exactly the same way again. Some pieces crumbled into a fine powder, too small to pick up and other pieces are probably lost altogether, which will form tiny holes and cracks in the repaired vases.

It all started on a normal day…Don’t all conflicts???

Unexpectedly my husband and I had a disagreement on an issue and instead of calmly reaching out to one another to resolve the matter amicably, the rift widened quickly between us and walls came up.  Before we fully comprehended the situation the battle lines were drawn in the sand, with each of us taking our stand. Naturally the children pledged allegiance to their father… blood is thicker than water. I wasn’t surprised by this at all. It was expected. Mine would naturally have supported me had they lived with me and been present at the time.

As one day bled painfully into another, the stand-off continued. (Yes!!! Before you ask me…I have heard and even quoted the expression “Don’t let the sun set on your anger!” but I have also discovered that, that is far easier to say than to do sometimes).

One day became two…….three…….. a week…….agonising days of indecision, anger, incredible sadness, misdirection, as we continued our separate routines without speaking or resolving the matter. Each waiting for the other to make the first move…

Until, another twist in events dragged my social media into the whole debacle.

 Let me just interject here, for those who do not know my husband. He has no interest in the internet or social media whatsoever, (Yes, such people actually exist) has no internet accounts… not even e-mail, so he has no idea what is posted on my social media. No!!!  he does not read my blog, (except on the few occasions when I will read something from it to him), so he had no back ground to go on, except to believe what he had been told / shown).

Truthfully!!! At this point I could literally see the Prized Vases literally crumble and turn to dust and powder in front of my eyes… How had a disagreement, albeit a relatively serious one progressed this far? The battle lines now shifted altogether. No longer was the “issue” the issue; but hubby and I were now moved like pawns, into the position of accuser and defender…with me having to “prove” my innocence…

How easily does the accuser of the brethren come between people!!!
The prowling lion poised to pounce

In the end, it took only three hours of serious, uninterrupted, dialogue between hubby and I to resolve the original issue, as well as, that of my social media. Just three hours in which neither of us had to “give in”. Instead we both compromised and met one another half way…The matter was resolved, shelved, apologies were exchanged , all was forgiven and our relationship was restored to where it should be…

However, in the wake of the disagreement lay the other broken relationships that now needed to be mended and as mentioned above will probably never be quite the same as before. No rewinding, or re-playing this one.

I know that I have to forgive even if I am never forgiven because the onus rests on me, as the adult to provide the example…

Why is this so hard?
When God forgave me my sins so freely.

Psalm 130:3-4If you, God, kept records on wrongdoings, who would stand a chance? As it turns out, forgiveness is your habit, and that’s why you’re worshiped.” (MSG)

As I am typing I glance down and am reminded by a quote I have displayed on my office desk that states: 

“When I stand before the throne, dressed in beauty not my own; When I see Thee as Thou art, love Thee with unceasing heart; Then, Lord shall I fully know – not till then – how much I owe” Anon

Grace – 

immeasurable pardon 

and mercy 

poured on me despite 

my own despicable sin.

On that great day, will any of this matter or will my pride prevent me from knowing that great blessing?

No!!! My hope is in our Father in heaven who is the specialist in restored relationships and with His help I aim to pick up every piece, glue every tiny fragmented piece together again with love, patience and joy.

Galatians 6:1-3 “[ Nothing but the Cross ] Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day’s out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ’s law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived. MSG (Emphasis my own)

If you are a Step Mom or Step Dad, I sympathise with you. Such a relationship is a tricky mine-field with all sorts of potential land-mines you could unwittingly step on…We didn’t receive manuals the day we were married and being a mother or father doesn’t automatically qualify you for the role of Step-Parenting. Far from it…This is a step by step walk into the unknown, with the added encumbrance of wearing the blind fold of insecurity…Meeting the new children where they are is tricky…never knowing when to speak and when to be quiet, when to intercede and when to back off…Perseverance, prayer and lots of patience will be required but I do believe that it is doable.

If you are a Step Child, I also sympathise with you. You weren’t part of the process that caused your parents to divorce in the first place and you certainly were not part of the process when your parent (s) remarried again and yet you are thrown into a blended family with changed rules and new Step Siblings to adjust to. As hard as it may seem to believe most Step Parents are not out to get you. (Yes! I know there are a few exceptions). But for the most part your Step Parent married because they were looking for companionship and a partner in life…You are the added blessing…just one more child to care for and love… but they do not have handy manuals, so with your co-operation perhaps you could both meet in the middle ground and forge new unchartered territory together…instead of following the masses into the dreaded “Step Family Legends of Disaster  Failures” …rather charter new courses together as  a blended family and lead other Step Families into new beginnings…

As a child I remember chanting

“Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never harm me”

during playground battles…never ever realizing how devastating words could be…

May we all learn to place a guard before our mouths…

Have you found yourself in a similar situation with your Step – Children / Parents? How did you resolve the issues? What ways did you find to mend broken bridges? Please share with us in the comments so that as Step Parents and Step Children we can all find answers.

*Hugs* till next time.


Friday, 7 August 2015

Modern Day Samaritan Woman


I have recently joined a group of writers for Five Minute Friday, hosted by Kate Motaung. Every week we write for five minutes after receiving a one word prompt. No editing or over thinking involved….Just writing for the love of writing. For more information please visit 

The word for this week is :



No!  not here in this office or here in this city, but here in the journey that I call my life.
As a child, young teenager through to middle age, I have often had to stop in my tracks and reflect.

Sometimes, I did the stopping to reflect by myself and other times it was forced on me by circumstances.  But every time I remember consciously thinking about where I am in my journey on this planet, I have found that I have seldom been exactly where I imagined I would be.

Which always bring me to the question.


Thankfully, we serve a God who patiently directs me back to the HERE that He has in mind for me…The HERE Where His will is perfect for me.

He reminds me that He has a plan for me and that it is good.

He reminds me that He designed my life with specific purpose to compliment His Glory.

He reminds me that mistakes can be corrected. I may have to face the consequences of my mistakes, but they can be corrected.

He reminds me that He has equipped me to face every obstacle, every trial, and every test of endurance.

He reminds me that He is behind every blessing, every healing, every heartfelt laugh, and every pleasure.

He reminds me that He has placed specific people strategically into my life to
Bless Me, Assist Me, Challenge Me, Comfort Me, Shape Me, as I am strategically placed into other people’s lives to fulfil roles for them.

He reminds me that he provides for every need in ways and methods I sometimes cannot fathom or imagine and very often take for granted.

He reminds me that he sustains life within me, constantly standing guard over me, waking me up every morning and gently nudging me off in the  mysterious  regions of sound sleep.

He reminds me that I am never ever alone and that He is with me in all things, passes through all valleys with me, climbs every difficult, overwhelming hill , comforts me in every single heart break, and laughs out loud with me when I experience pleasure and joy.

And then I find the answer to my question:


I got to this point, to this HERE, by Divine Intervention, by a Living Almighty God, every second of every day, of every year of my life. I may not be precisely in the HERE Father has in mind for me but I am moving towards it because He Lives and is with me.


*Hugs* till next time.


Wednesday, 5 August 2015

Modern Day Samaritan Woman

Coming to Terms with placing Mom in a Home.

If it is so Right why does it feel like betrayal!!!

After much thought, denial, hope, failure, loss and prayer it finally became clear to me that Mom would have to be placed into a home that could better understand and care for her and her Alzheimer’s disease.

I don’t even think of it as Mom has Alzheimer’s…more like Alzheimer’s has Mom and I don’t know how to free her from it. In fact Alzheimer’s has the whole family wrapped in the nightmare world of confusion and stress levels I never ever imagined were possible.

Everyone in the family is affected by the disease…

Taking care of her was one thing, but finding a suitable home with the right people to take on her care proved almost impossible to do. After mailing at least fifty e-mails all over the place and making several hundred phone calls, I eventually found the right place for Mom…

But if it’s so right why does it never the less still feel like such a terrible betrayal?

Everything I have read about the disease clearly indicates that it will progressively worsen and that there is no diet, pill or magical formula that will reverse the damage already done to her brain and imagining Mom in a state of confusion, alone and afraid is sometimes more than I can bear.

Yet, I had to make hard decisions on her behalf and I had to take her to the home and leave her there. She went voluntarily, was quite keen to go in fact. Almost as if somewhere in her deepest self she knew that this was the best for her and for us, her children.

But if it’s so right why does it never the less still feel like such a terrible betrayal?

The day I left her at the home was the same as leaving a toddler at a Nursery School for the first time. I had so many things to carry over to the nursing staff pertaining to her preferences of food and clothing, when she likes to bath and nap and even about the little heart pillow she insists has to be under her head when she sleeps. She simply will not settle without her heart pillow in place. All her idiosyncrasies which I automatically adhere to, despite her personality changing. Growing up with Mom I know just about everything about her and handing her over into the care of someone else proved to be quite challenging despite the fact that it was also a relief of sorts.

I will now be able to sleep through the night, have a long leisurely bath from time to time, go out on occasion with my husband again and even have an uninterrupted meal 
(Blissful Blessing's now, but so taken for granted in the past)…

She on the other hand is surrounded by nurses and aides who are qualified to attend to her needs far more adequately than I could. She is in professional care and the people around her know how to handle and manage the different whims and notions that accompany Alzheimer’s.

But if it’s so right why does it never the less still feel like such a terrible betrayal?

The sister at the home has assured me that my feelings and emotions are perfectly normal, because after all is said and done, this is Mom, my Mom and that I am still in denial despite my vast accumulated knowledge of this horrible disease.

Do you also struggle with the emotions bonds that accompany the caring and decision making for a loved one with Alzheimer’s?

My hope lies in the fact that my Creator lives and He still has the whole world in His hands.

He reaches Mom when I can’t. 
He protects her when I’m not there. 
He comforts her with His presence when she is lonely and afraid…

*Hugs* till next time.