Modern Day Samaritan Woman

Growing into the skin of the Proverbs 31 Woman!!!

Encouragement for young wives and mothers…

It is possible to be a Proverbs 31 Woman.

Like all dutiful wives and mothers, I have studied this woman for years (more than I care to admit to) and for the most part I felt like I could never measure up. 

Truthfully, I did not really like her much because, I just felt it’s impossible to be just like her or to come even close. I worked and slaved and adjusted my attitude and habits over and over again and still didn’t seem to be very successful. It seemed like I was getting nowhere…

After all is said and done this is a “Super Mom”, Super Wife”, Super Employer”, “Super Everything”

ALL……… THE……… TIME…

How is that possible?

From time to time, I was tempted to ignore this chapter in my bible, but it’s hard to ignore something that’s already memorized in your head, after years and years of practice. Besides it’s part of scripture so must be do-able…

God would not provide us with guidelines that He knew we could not attain or even reach…

So with time, experience and wisdom gained I learned the following things from this formidable woman.

I have learned that she did not do everything in exactly the same season, throughout her life. Her accomplishments were adjusted and changed as her life’s seasons changed.

(For example, as a young mother with young children in the home, I was compelled to produce healthy meals for growing kids while also producing Themed Cakes for birthday Parties; however as my children grew up into their teens and eventually adulthood, I no longer needed to produce Themed Birthday Cakes…The kids simply no longer wanted  or needed them)  

However, as my seasons changed; so too did my skill levels in other areas.

I learned that she delegated duties to her servants in order to get all the work done. I have also learned to look after my household appliances (modern day equivalent to servants); to keep them maintained and cleaned, so that as I clean house, do washing or prepare family meals these appliances work well and the work is done when it should be.

I have learned to ensure that my husband is rested in the evenings and ready to sit at his City Walls every day (Equivalent of his daily work); with clean clothing, and ready to undertake the tasks that he needs to do; without having to worry about whether the home is in order or not. I have learned to earn his confidence and trust in that I am in control of the home “affairs” so he can focus on his own affairs, while he is out for the day.

I have learned to manage our finances well and to prepare tasty and healthy meals without having to spend unnecessary money on all sorts of fancy accessories and expensive foods.

I have learned how to manage my laundry and look after the clothing we have in order to ensure that we are well dressed without having to purchase new clothes every single month.

I have learned how to be content with my home, my furniture and how to decorate and be creative within the home in order to have a welcoming comfortable sanctuary for family and friends alike.

HOWEVER:

None of these things happened at the same time. Every new skill and accomplishment came with work and patience and in its own season. As my seasons have changed, so too has my focus and attention to different experiences and skills.

I no longer feel the need to envy this formidable woman because with hindsight I can look back and see that with God’s help, the different seasons in my life and my own eagerness to be this woman, I have started to grow into her skin. The same will happen in your life as you press on.

There is one thing the Proverbs 31 woman managed to attain, that few other woman do…She had a husband and children that were observant and noticed her efforts. I think this verse in scripture is often overlooked while focusing on all this woman’s skills (and our lack of skills).

So if there are any husbands reading this please remember to notice when your wife is enthusiastic about her home and all the many chores she repetitively does every single day. Usually, when the home is functioning and running well the efforts of the wife will go unnoticed and be taken for granted.

Nothing motivates a woman more than when her efforts in the mundane chores of housework are noticed and appreciated.

Children do not notice the efforts mom puts into their daily care, but as they grow older and their seasons change, they too eventually realize the time and effort mom put into raising them and they then learn to appreciate her more.

So young mom and wife…relax…you will gradually grow into a Proverbs 31 Woman…

If your aim is to please God and look after your family enthusiastically and with all that you have…every season will train you with every skill you need.

Proverbs 31: 28 – 29 “Her children respect and bless her;
    her husband joins in with words of praise:
“Many women have done wonderful things,
    but you’ve outclassed them all!”

I still have things to learn and seasons to pass through but I have learned that with all the new seasons comes all the new skills. I don’t need to force it or envy it in other woman.  

*Hugs* till next time.

Ariéte

Modern Day Samaritan Woman

Mothering, Mother’s Day, “Mothering Do ‘Over’s…”

So Mother’s Day has now passed and yes I’m aware that I’m almost a week late, but that seems to be the common thread in my life at this moment…always a few days late, a few steps behind, a few tasks moved over to the another day…I have learnt that I really don’t have to have it all together every single day…Some things can wait till tomorrow, because God has the World in His Hands…I do not need to fuss…

When I was asked what I would like for Mother’s Day, I answered in the same way that I have done for many years… “Nothing, just love me every day, because I am a mother every day…not just on this one day”. But, during private reflection I realized that I would really have loved a “Mothering Do Over”.

Mothering made me the Woman I am today!!!

Of all the things I have done and experienced in my life the most fulfilling and wonderful thing was being a mother. I would like to think that I was a fairly good mother, but were I to have a “Do Over”. I would spend more time simply being present in my children’s life instead of fussing over chores and tidiness. Wanting to be the BEST MOTHER ever I thought it was necessary to do it all, every single day and be absolutely perfect at it.  I never understood that, that very annoying “Perfect Woman” in Proverbs 31…didn’t do it all in the same season of her life, but rather progressively, as her seasons changed. I wish I had known this sooner.

There is no way to be the perfect Mother, but a million ways to be a good one!!!

With hindsight I remember our trips to the library and coming back home to pour over new books and information together, and yet the memory of whether my kitchen floor was mopped or not is illusive. I simply do not care to remember because it’s not important anymore…Perhaps it never really was.

I remember the heart warmth and sense of well-being we felt, while sharing a cool drink in the afternoons, in our back yard, when my children planted seeds and re-potted plants rather than whether the dishes in the sink was washed or not. Again, it’s just not important enough.

I have warm memories of long discussions with my children regarding God and His Mercy & Grace, how we were called to live and serve, which helped us all to grow, feel connected and left us feeling so blessed, much more than whether the laundry was done or waiting to be done.

And so, in light of this!!!    

I would really love to have a do over in order to focus more on that which matters.

Yes! it matters whether the house is at least clean enough to be healthy and yes we need clean clothes to wear and clean crockery to eat with; but all these things fade in comparison to the heart connections we have with our children during the growing up years. 

Those are the only memories that matter in the end. 

Those are the thoughts which warm a Mommy’s heart when she feels the ache of an empty nest.

Those are the memories that motivate a Mommy to her knees to pray and pray more for her grown up children as they face their life’s challenges as adults…navigating the unknown.

These are the things that add value to all the accomplishments and myriad of activities a Mommy has done in her life. 

The memory of those little people who tested and stretched that Mommy to be the really best. 

So to my two wonderful children, “Thank you for making me ‘Mommy’. Without you I would never have known the absolute joy of being a mother. I also would never have known just how far and wide a mother’s love can stretch…Because of you and despite my many, many failures, while I muddled through mothering you…I proudly can say “ I am a Mother” on Mother’s Day and claim that victory with all the other Mommy’s.

And in His wonderful mercy and Grace, God gave me the desire of my heart…because I do get to do a “Mothering Do Over”

See my next blog to find out how and more importantly, how I fare, with all my new wisdom and knowledge.

As a Mommy do you also want to be the very best, have a perfect home, healthy happy kids and all your ducks in a row and realize that sometimes it’s all just too much? Relax the Proverbs 31, didn’t do it all in her 20’s. 30’s or 40’s….She did it all during the entire span of her lifetime, all things were accomplished in their own season.

*Hugs* till next time.

Ariéte