Modern Day Samaritan Woman

Update: Interceding for My Broken Marriage

Walking on Water –

Waiting in the mundane “Middle” 

 Sometimes while standing in the gap for a prodigal loved one, be it a spouse, child, parent or friend, it feels like walking on water, because there is no control. This is the one thing you cannot manipulate, force and even manage.

And oh how WE do like to be in control…

You can only pray and trust. Nothing less and nothing more… This can be quite a test in itself because while we pray and watch and hope, we cannot know or even perceive whether anything is happening.

The unknown spreads before us like an endless valley with peaks and dips into which we cannot see, and this is the time where our faith is sorely tested and stretched. Well-meaning relatives question your motivation, reasoning and even your sanity.

As the lonely (and in some cases) emotionally painful days turn to weeks to months and sometimes years, we begin to question…allow doubt to creep in and sometimes give up altogether.

This is the time to “trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all.” (Proverbs 3:5-6 – The Message)

When we made the decision to stand in for our prodigals we were all fired up, determined and ready to take this on!!! The beginning of new ventures (even the painful standing in the gaps for prodigals) is always exciting and we are motivated by adrenaline and the desire to see something happen / change …Many proclamations, promises and plans are made at this stage…

After all we have a vision, a mission…

Even a Holy Commission if you will...

But the real test comes when all this drive and passion and excitement fades into the hum drum of one more day…one more prayer…one more disappointment when change doesn’t happen quite when and even how we expected it to.

This is the middle …”the mundane middle”… This mission is our own…people who initially were excited with us eventually fade away to get on with their own lives, and we are left alone to continue praying, forgotten, unnoticed…and from somewhere deep within we have to find the motivation to do what we said we were going to do.

How do we remain strong and keep our purpose during these mundane times? How do we hang onto our faith when it appears as if our prodigals will never return? When it appears as if they have moved on and are “living quite well without you, Thank You”.

It’s a difficult thing to do and only someone who is actually in this position will truly understand the resolve required to continue when it really would be easier to pick up the broken pieces and restart a life elsewhere…

Yet, this is only the middle….

The in-between…the springboard from the

“PROMISE”…..TO THE “VICTORY”

Everyone in scripture had to endure this unknown period.

Hebrews 11:1 -2 “Now faith is the assurance (title deed, confirmation) of things hoped for (divinely guaranteed), and the evidence of things not seen (the conviction of reality – faith comprehends as fact what cannot be experienced by the physical senses)” AMP. (Emphasis my own)

Abraham had to wait for Isaac,

Joseph had to endure hardship and imprisonment,

Jacob had to work “Double Time” for his beloved bride.

Moses – Red Sea

Rahab – Prostitute saved by faith

Joshua – Jericho Walls

Yes! There are many examples of people who had to remain true to their word, while spending “years” in the mundane “in-between” awaiting the fulfilment of their promises. I’m certain they, like us, had their doubts and fears. I’m sure their well –meaning relatives tried to steer them in what they perceived to be best for them…Yet scripture teaches that they held onto their promises. They called things into being as if they were…They stood on the Word and promise…They spoke life instead of death…

Perhaps we should take their example.

1. Speak life into our prodigal’s lives.

Luke 6:28 “Bless and show kindness to those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (AMP)

2. Be patient while God works.

Lamentations 3:25 “The Lord is good to those who wait (confidently) for Him, to those who seek Him (on authority of God’s word).  (AMP)

3. Surround yourself with godly people.

Proverbs 11:14 “Where there is no (wise, intelligent) guidance, the people fall (and go off course like a ship without a helm), but in the abundance of (wise and godly) counselors there is victory”. (AMP) (Emphasis my own)

Hold on dear friends, those standing in the gap for others…They don’t know that they need you but they do. Father has given you a noble vision. He has entrusted you to stand in the gap for a loved one…Don’t give up on Him and don’t give up on your loved one…

For if you do not stand in the gap for them “Who will?”

Have you received an instruction from our Father to stand in the gap for someone?

Decide today to be obedient. He does not disappoint. There is no telling what your prayers will mean to your loved one.

Join us on face book – Come encourage and find encouragement in a group of like-minded people with similar struggles and hopes.

*Hugs* till next time.

Ariéte

Modern Day Samaritan Woman

Professional Wait ‘ers?

We all go through various seasons in our lives, at different times, for some of us the seasons pass quickly from one thing to another thing and for others the changes take longer, but what about the season that does not pass? I have read a lot about the various challenges people face, but I haven’t read anything about a season that 

just does not pass.

For me that season is waiting. I am a “Wait’er” A professional “Wait”er

My season of waiting began about forty years ago and despite experiencing many life changing circumstances during this time period, good and bad, my “waiting” season has not passed. Thankfully, I am not always consciously aware that I am waiting, but recently my awareness of waiting has flared up again very strongly and I realized that I am still waiting.

This brought about the question. Is this a bad thing? Waiting for most of us, is usually considered a waste of time. We don’t like queues or waiting for others in traffic. The month feels long when we are waiting for our pay checks and people who are tardy for appointments are considered as wasting our time, so in general waiting feels like a negative thing.

How does waiting feel? Waiting to me feels like being driven to the edge of sanity sometimes, especially when I don’t know how long I will be waiting for. Ask any mother whose child is in emergency surgery? Or the patient waiting for the results of blood tests? The prisoner waiting for time to pass to expected freedom. The terminal patient, having been told time is short and waiting to die. Or any aged person waiting for a visit from loved ones?

One more hour, one more day, one more week, one more month, one more year, one more decade, one more century, or one complete lifetime. Waiting indefinitely is enough to drive someone right over the edge.

I have given these times of waiting lots of names during my life. I’ve called it patience, endurance, perseverance, faithfulness and even loneliness because most of the time this waiting has been very lonely exercise, when others have not understood exactly. Others have also given my “waiting” names like ignorance, stupidity, wasteful, indifference, even peculiar.

However, by whichever name it is called, my waiting season has continued unabated through the years, until recently when it has been brought to focus in my life again.

Can I really be the only one in this constant waiting mode? I can’t believe it and I don’t believe it. Why do we not speak of it or hear of it more often? Am I ignorant? Am I stupid? Or am I just peculiar? Am I wearing a mask or are others wearing masks, smiling and confident, going through life’s motions while waiting, waiting and waiting some more?

I believe there are many professional “wait”ers…We just aren’t really aware of one another.

Waiting has several sounds. 

Waiting can sound like the distant barking of a dog…constant, continuous, nagging…but distant enough away not to directly annoy but a reminder none the less.

Waiting can sound like a radio playing incessantly in the background…you hear tiny fragments of songs playing and spoken words, white noise really, but the general gist of the conversations goes unnoticed.

Waiting can sound like the whir whir of an overhead fan, going round and round at a constant steady speed, moving but going nowhere fast.

Waiting can chip away steadily at your resolve and sanity, bit by bit eroding your resistance, as the steady dripping of water erodes rock surfaces, until you find yourself at the edge, but at the edge of what exactly?

The enemy of our souls often uses these times of waiting and our awareness of waiting to whisper into our ears, telling us lies, about ourselves, our lives, our loved ones and even our God.

And if we are not careful to shut out these whispers we will be swept away in these lies. 

1 John 5:21 “Little children (believers, dear ones), guard yourselves from idols—[false teachings, moral compromises, and anything that would take God’s place in your heart].” AMP

Because we are told to WAIT on the Lord.

Psalm 27:14 

“Wait for and confidently expect the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for and confidently expect the Lord.” AMP

The truth is we are waiting…I am waiting to be reunited with my Creator. Until then we will never be fulfilled, never be entirely satisfied with our existence and life. I have been waiting to truly belong… to belong somewhere and to belong to someone for almost as long as I can remember…waiting that has seemed endless.

There is no possession, occupation, parent, child, husband, wife or sibling that can fill the void that only God can fill.  Yes I am a Child of the Most High God and He certainly is my God and King, but until I am in His actual presence, I simply don’t belong fully and completely on this planet or even in this existence. I am peculiar and I feel alien, even when in the company of people I call my own and know well.

I have heard His voice and I have His seen His face beaconing me to follow Him. He called me as a young girl and ever since then I have been following but also waiting…I have been restlessness most of my life…

Waiting to return to His presence…

1 Peter 2:9

“But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light;” KJV

So although the waiting is hard, lonely and long, my prayer is that my restlessness will not cause me to miss the mark altogether. Rather, that my restlessness will cause me and my loved one’s to press in, to press on, and to press home…to the place where every person ever created has a place of belonging…Where the waiting will cease forever and we will be in the presence of the One to whom we will know fullness and complete belonging…

Do you also feel as if you have been waiting for something, someone, forever? Perhaps that’s the point. We should all be professional wait”ers…Waiting and yearning for the true lover of our souls…Surely He is Worth waiting for.

*Hugs* till next time.

Ariéte

Modern Day Samaritan Woman

Step – Mothering – The Familiar Outsider- Six ways to cope with being on the outside…

I am a step-mother !!!

(Just typing that makes me feel alien or unnatural)

Never ever in my wildest imagination did I ever expect to find myself in this position so I have no experience or even imagination to draw from.

Step – Mother….I don’t even like the word…

Whoever came up with that word? 

Step – Mother literally sounds like step (on the) mother…and sometimes that is precisely how I feel. Naturally, my own children also “Stepped on the Mother” a few times; but somehow that experience was different in that I was an “insider”, the “MOM”, so I had every right to react and deal with whatever the situation was, decisively and as I saw fit. My authority was never questioned – Not even by me.

As a Step Mother I very gradually realized that I am very much the outsider that joined a family that was not my own. This realization sort of crept up on me slowly and then it pounced and rudely smacked me hard in the face…

My home is filled with familiar furniture and ornaments that I have lovingly carried around with me for years. I should feel at home, secure and have a sense of belonging, but I find myself invariably feeling very much like a hamster rolling around in my little plastic ball…

A part of the household - but still very much isolated from the rest of the family.

Some of the things I experienced that led me to this understanding were:

Decisions and requests are made without my input or knowledge. This was one of the hardest things I had to acknowledge and face. It is perfectly natural for my step – children to approach their father with requests and desires. They have been doing so for years, all their lives in fact and although I am now married to their father I am really just his wife…not someone of relevance to them.

Discipline and planning of future goals are not in any way similar. My hubby and I differ so vastly that it’s really like the east from the west.

When hubby comes home in the evenings I have to step aside and wait my turn to say hello and share my day. Usually, this time only occurs when we are done with the usual supper routine and retreat to our bedrooms. On many an occasion I am so tired by that time that I no longer feel the need to share my day, so things of importance/interest simply pass by without being communicated.

However, I do believe that God was very instrumental in this marriage and He therefore equipped me for the challenge. My hubby and step – children are my treasures (even if I am looking at them through the plastic ball) and they therefore deserve my best. Just as my own children received my best so too will my step children. As the adult it’s up to me to overcome the obstacles and be understanding.

How to cope and press into the goal!!!!

1. The most important part is that God must be in control. . Psalm 127: 1- 2

“ If God doesn’t build the house, the builders only build shacks. If God doesn’t guard the city, the night watchman might as well nap. It’s useless to rise early and go to bed late, and work your worried fingers to the bone. Don’t you know he enjoys giving rest to those he loves?” The Message

2.  Proverbs 22:6 was my favorite verse when my children were young. I prayed it,             meditated on it and chose to believe in it. Ultimately the only thing that really matters is that I am going in the right direction and can point the way to my step children.

“Point your kids in the right direction—

    when they’re old they won’t be lost.” The Message

3. Praying always without ceasing.  There is power and comfort in prayer.

4. My step – children must know that I am available and present but I must remain consistent in values and principles. Never wavering from the values instilled by God.

5. I must love my step-children unconditionally just as I love my own.

6. I need to remember always that blood is thicker than water and although I am now a part of this new family, I am still never the less still the outsider and only time and patience will change that. 

In the meantime I am the familiar outsider…

What about you? Have you re-married or had some other life altering experience with all kinds of dreams and hopes only to find things aren’t quite as you imagined? Share how you made things better? How did you cope?

*Hugs* till next time.

Ariéte