Wednesday, 1 July 2015

Modern Day Samaritan Woman

Married for a whole year!!! 

Second Marriage!!! 

Holding onto Grace in order to Thrive despite the Odds!!!

How to Love again???

So, our first Anniversary came and went…and unlike all the anniversaries that went before (previous life, previous marriage), this one was reserved, almost sacrosanct.

Instead of the whoopee!!!!  bring the champagne, this one was a quiet, reverential 

“Phew!!! We made it!!!”...

and truthfully my love, I think you will agree, this was a difficult year for both of us.

A lot of adjustments had to be made and a lot of fears had to be overcome…

Yet! here we are…one year down the line and as committed as we were when we first said I do…maybe even more so.

A lot of conflict entered our sacred space from outside sources this year, but also from our own insecurities…We both knew what we had to lose…we both knew how easily the enemy came to destroy and steal the first time around. We have both experienced the heartbreak of loss and failure, so as we walked around on eggs, watched one another’s hearts and actions closely; we unconsciously prepared our own hearts for disappointment or worse ............ failure. So much so, that we were surprised when this first anniversary arrived…without disaster.

Second marriages, for whatever reasons are just not the same as the first, not even close. When I was married the first time, I was truly oblivious of what was to follow. I now understand the term “Ignorance is Bliss”…Despite numerous resources at my disposal, I still had the conviction that “love conquers all” and the “forever meant forever”, no matter what.

 There is nothing wrong with these convictions and I would still truly love to believe in the infallibility of love, but with my new perspective, I know that this is not always the case.

Therefore, in my opinion second marriages are much harder work than first marriages. For a start both partners carry with them baggage from their past, and in our case children from our previous marriages, all of which are now part of the new arrangement. Instead of just two people joining in union, there are now numerous people and not all of them agreed to the “I do” part. Yet here they are part of the arrangement anyway.

The daily pressures of life are difficult enough at the best of times, but when you add Alzheimer’s into the mix, it just becomes more challenging.  Throw in some teenagers and lots of financial pressure and some unexpected curve balls and life becomes a roller coaster of endless stress.

How do we conquer the fear of failure? 

How do we hope for the best, while fearing the worst? 

How do we press on, when things become difficult and they do, they certainly do?

And !!!!

Grace! Exquisite Grace…

Without which we would not be able to function at all…

Grace is the first aid applied to the unachievable. 

We have to constantly be reminded of the grace of God towards us. Paul states in
2 Corinthians 2: 9 that His Grace is sufficient against any danger and enables us to bear trouble manfully… and some days we have to do just that.

2 Corinthians 12:9 “But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me! (The Message) Emphasis my own

With the Power of Christ strengthening us in our weakness and gloriously, miraculously, “pitching a tent and dwelling upon us”… 

we can dare not only to love but to thrive, 

despite all odds…


Having received God’s Grace so freely, we need to extend it to one another daily…and in turn to all the people we encounter, especially during times of conflict, stress or irritation, because it’s then that it’s most needed.

With God’s Grace and perseverance in the tests and trials…We will be able to celebrate the second year and maybe even the next…

But for now….

Happy Anniversary my Love!!!

Have you found that your second marriage required a lot more work and effort than your first? Or perhaps you have some other challenge in your life for which you need an endless supply of Grace…Thankfully, although it undeserved, it’s always available to us….

*Hugs* till next time.