Modern Day Samaritan Woman

Update: Interceding for My Broken Marriage

The unnatural calm after the storm –

Maintaining the nest in the absence of your mate.

Several months ago I embarked on a mission to “stand” for my marriage versus moving on and building a new life. At the time it was difficult, my circumstances seemed impossible and the only option I had was to turn fully and completely to God.

I had to allow Him to open up the mantelpiece of my heart and unpack everything in it. Sifting through everything bit by bit until all the broken pieces were either restored, revamped or discarded. It was a difficult time because it wasn’t always pleasant having my character and motivation examined by Holy Spirit, but despite the discomfit it was an amazing time of growth in God.

However, although I ended up quite comfortable in my own skin while waiting for my prodigal to return and trusting God with the impossible, I soon understood that there were things I could do while waiting for God to perform my miracle and preparing my home for my husband’s return.

Filling the vacuum left by his departure.

The first thing was the vacuum created by my husbands “missing” presence and possessions. It was my natural inclination to fill up those empty spaces with everything and anything. However, I also realized that in filling up the gaps left by his possessions with my own things I wasn’t really leaving an “open invitation” to welcome his return. If he first had to remove my possessions from his wardrobe and bedside table it would not convey to him the true welcome of my heart…I wanted him to understand that his place at my side, his bedside table, his wardrobe and all his other “spaces” around the house would remain as they were until he returned to fill them with his possessions and presence again.

Get on with my life.

Waiting was one thing and depending on your point of view either very noble of very stupid. “Yup!!!! The jury was out on this one”. Some believed I should move on while others encouraged me to “stand”. There were also a few on the side-line waiting to see if I would succeed or fail. Would my marriage be restored or would I spend my time in vain waiting for a prodigal who never returns?

At this time I realised that whatever the future held one thing was absolutely certain. I also had a life and it had to go on. I couldn’t sit around just waiting. So I started to pick up hobbies I had set aside, contacted friends I hadn’t seen in a while and pressed into my bible study even deeper. The more I picked up my routine and my life, the happier I became. Yes. I missed my husband and I mourned for our marriage that had started with such high hopes, yet I also noticed that I was gradually healing to a point of being quite independent and functioning quite normally. Although I thought about my husband every day, I was no longer obsessed with what he was or wasn’t doing. I no longer worried about him meeting someone else or doing something irresponsible. I knew I had to simply get on with my own life, find my healing and my joy apart from him. (This mini-makeover had a dual positive effect that I only discovered later on).

a) I actually became quite happy and in my happiness became prettier and healthier without going on any specific diets.

b) When my husband returned he expected to find a whiney, clingy wife and was pleasantly surprised to find that I was no longer anything near the woman I had become when our marriage broke up.

Pressed on upwards and inwards.

I found my evening filled with bible study and prayer. I loved it. Loved delving into the scriptures and chewing on the stories and versus. I would spend hours doing bible study and hardly noticed that I was alone in the evenings. Father truly had become my “husband” keeping me company, comforting me and teaching me.

Joined support groups with “like minded” people who could empathise in my struggle, loneliness and pain. People who were walking the same road of “standing” as I was.

Standing for a husband or any other prodigal can be a very lonely business. For one thing, everyone else simply gets on with their own lives and loved ones and don’t have the same sense of loneliness and urgency you have to have your prodigal home.

Secondly, the prodigal spouse doesn’t really help much, as they are so blinded by the enemy that they move on at an alarmingly quick pace and don’t even look back in their pursuit of pleasure. This leaves you feeling even more alone and isolated.

Being a part of a support group that prays with you and empathises with you and who has members that you can support strengthens your resolve to be steady and to overcome. If not for your sake alone but for them also. The mutual support is incalculable.

Have you received an instruction from our Father to stand in the gap for someone?

Decide today to be obedient. He does not disappoint. There is no telling what your prayers will mean to your loved one. I am here to tell you that it is possible and that with Father at your side, guiding you, you can be an overcomer.

Join us on face book – Come encourage and find encouragement in a group of like-minded people with similar struggles and hopes.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1682277278697741/?ref=bookmarks

*Hugs* till next time.

Ariéte

Modern Day Samaritan Woman

Update: Interceding for My Broken Marriage

Hop - Scotching on Faith –

The anchor holds in the middle of the Storm.

Few things can test our faith more than when we have been called to stand in the gap for a loved one and despite many prayers, tears and seemingly  IN OUR OWN OPINION a lot of faith haven’t seen the desired results. We begin to question whether God has indeed given us the “mission” to stand in the gap. We begin to doubt ourselves, our faith and even start to come up with excuses as to why we may have misinterpreted Gods Will concerning our marriages.

Whatever we may feel, it’s important to understand and accept that the process of Godly restoration in our marriages is exactly that … a process and Father in His wisdom doesn’t only work on our prodigal spouse but in us as well.

How well do I remember the nights I would sit at His feet bemoaning one or other personal injury my spouse had inflicted on me, only to hear Father softly say, “I hear you but that is between him and I, Why don’t we talk about this instead?” While strategically placing his finger firmly on a character trait of my own that we had to address. I knew that nothing was going to change with regards my husband, until I had honestly faced the character flaw no matter how I tried to squirm out of it.

I quickly learned from that this process of standing the gap for someone else actually means starting with self-reflection and correction. I believe that I can honestly say that unless we are prepared to delve deeply into our own personalities and character traits first, we cannot expect that Father will assist us in “correcting” someone else’s character traits and flaws.

This is a difficult step, particularly when we feel we have been offended or hurt by a spouse or other prodigal, yet it has been my experience that nothing was going to change until I permitted Holy Spirit to highlight and expose areas in my own life that required illumination, correction and eradication all together.

I can clearly recall one such instance when I had the audacity to tell Father, “But you don’t understand!” Yes, I really did…It didn’t take me long to remember I was addressing the Omniscient Almighty Who clearly understood all too well…

So if you are called to stand in the gap for someone and to pray for a prodigal, prepare yourself to first address personal flaws before being directed by Holy Spirit into intercession and warfare on behalf of another.

The following are some of the more practical steps I learned along the way which may assist you if you are embarking on this journey of standing in for your spouse and a broken marriage.

1. Standing in for your broken marriage is a lonely walk. It is your marriage; therefore your commitment. Most of my well-meaning friends and family suggested that I should just move on instead of encouraging me to stand and fight on my knees. This is a time of true testing. How committed am I? How true were my vows? How pure was my love?

2. Find one or two trusted friends to assist you in prayer and encouragement. These friends should be of the same gender as you. When you are beginning this walk you are very emotionally unstable (particularly if your spouse appears to have moved on and having the time of their life without you), so you need some very safe and trusted friends who will assist you and support you. Befriending a person of the opposite sex and confiding in them regarding your emotions and broken heart is not advisable.

For one this could result in inappropriate feelings developing for this person or even vice versa (Which would defeat the purpose of standing in for your broken marriage). Secondly, your spouse would feel threatened by this friendship when he/she does return, creating unnecessary issues that will only add to the complexity of your marriage problems. Remember the issues that originally caused the marriage to break down are not going to magically disappear during this time of separation. They will still have to be addressed when your spouse returns. Therefore it certainly is better not to add to them with new issues.

3. Don’t discuss your spouse or what happened in a negative light with friends and even family. If you truly want your spouse back consider what they will be returning to. Do you want them to feel welcome in the home and family again or to always feel ostracised because family members know the ”dirt” and have already prejudged? Remember you love your spouse so your forgiveness will come easily, but not others who only focus on your pain.

4. Behave and live like a married person. The things you did and did not do prior to your separation are still applicable. If you truly are standing in for your broken marriage then you can’t live and behave like a single person. This is truly an either / or scenario. Either you want to remain married and will stand in the gap and pray while Father does the work of restoration or you want to be single and go out and behave like a single person. Once again the onus rests on you, as the person standing in the gap to be led by Holy Spirit, to live in a chaste and respectful manner (regardless of what your spouse is doing or not doing). Tit for tat never worked and never resolved anything.  This does not mean that you never go out at all. You can certainly socialize with your family and even with friends; just as you would have if your marriage was intact. However, there is a difference between socializing with family around a braai (barbeque) or attending a movie with friends and clubbing it out with people until the wee hours of the morning.

5. This is a lonely walk and it will take every bit of self – restraint not to give up and throw in the towel. I can tell you from experience that I had several “melt downs”, and several restarts, but Father is faithful and was there every step of the way. Trust and faith became my “key words”.

6. Do something that you like to do. Join a gym, prayer group, hobby circle, whatever you personally enjoy. This is now your opportunity to do that which you have always dreamed of doing. This provides an opportunity to get you out of the house, socializing with like-minded people for a few hours a week and provides an outlet for the loneliness.

7. Spend all your alone time in prayer, bible study and fellowship with God. His Word says Seek and you will find. This is so true. I found that my alone time soon became very treasured time spent with Father and I hardly noticed the time passing or that I was alone.

Restoration:

After several months of standing for my marriage, fighting off despair and trusting madly in God to bring about restoration, I can testify today that Father did just that. He restored to me my marriage and my husband. The reconciliation was as beautiful and special as I had always dreamed and I am eternally grateful.

However, we spend so much time day-dreaming and fighting for the success and restoration of our marriages that we don’t really think about the actual homecoming, which brings with it challenges of its own.

In my next blog post I will share how I prepared my home, heart and life for the return of my prodigal an also highlight some of the potential challenges that accompany the restoration.

Have you received an instruction from our Father to stand in the gap for someone?

Decide today to be obedient. He does not disappoint. There is no telling what your prayers will mean to your loved one.

Join us on face book – Come encourage and find encouragement in a group of like-minded people with similar struggles and hopes.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1682277278697741/?ref=bookmarks

*Hugs* till next time.

Ariéte

Modern Day Samaritan Woman

Update: Interceding for My Broken Marriage

Walking on Water –

Waiting in the mundane “Middle” 

 Sometimes while standing in the gap for a prodigal loved one, be it a spouse, child, parent or friend, it feels like walking on water, because there is no control. This is the one thing you cannot manipulate, force and even manage.

And oh how WE do like to be in control…

You can only pray and trust. Nothing less and nothing more… This can be quite a test in itself because while we pray and watch and hope, we cannot know or even perceive whether anything is happening.

The unknown spreads before us like an endless valley with peaks and dips into which we cannot see, and this is the time where our faith is sorely tested and stretched. Well-meaning relatives question your motivation, reasoning and even your sanity.

As the lonely (and in some cases) emotionally painful days turn to weeks to months and sometimes years, we begin to question…allow doubt to creep in and sometimes give up altogether.

This is the time to “trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all.” (Proverbs 3:5-6 – The Message)

When we made the decision to stand in for our prodigals we were all fired up, determined and ready to take this on!!! The beginning of new ventures (even the painful standing in the gaps for prodigals) is always exciting and we are motivated by adrenaline and the desire to see something happen / change …Many proclamations, promises and plans are made at this stage…

After all we have a vision, a mission…

Even a Holy Commission if you will...

But the real test comes when all this drive and passion and excitement fades into the hum drum of one more day…one more prayer…one more disappointment when change doesn’t happen quite when and even how we expected it to.

This is the middle …”the mundane middle”… This mission is our own…people who initially were excited with us eventually fade away to get on with their own lives, and we are left alone to continue praying, forgotten, unnoticed…and from somewhere deep within we have to find the motivation to do what we said we were going to do.

How do we remain strong and keep our purpose during these mundane times? How do we hang onto our faith when it appears as if our prodigals will never return? When it appears as if they have moved on and are “living quite well without you, Thank You”.

It’s a difficult thing to do and only someone who is actually in this position will truly understand the resolve required to continue when it really would be easier to pick up the broken pieces and restart a life elsewhere…

Yet, this is only the middle….

The in-between…the springboard from the

“PROMISE”…..TO THE “VICTORY”

Everyone in scripture had to endure this unknown period.

Hebrews 11:1 -2 “Now faith is the assurance (title deed, confirmation) of things hoped for (divinely guaranteed), and the evidence of things not seen (the conviction of reality – faith comprehends as fact what cannot be experienced by the physical senses)” AMP. (Emphasis my own)

Abraham had to wait for Isaac,

Joseph had to endure hardship and imprisonment,

Jacob had to work “Double Time” for his beloved bride.

Moses – Red Sea

Rahab – Prostitute saved by faith

Joshua – Jericho Walls

Yes! There are many examples of people who had to remain true to their word, while spending “years” in the mundane “in-between” awaiting the fulfilment of their promises. I’m certain they, like us, had their doubts and fears. I’m sure their well –meaning relatives tried to steer them in what they perceived to be best for them…Yet scripture teaches that they held onto their promises. They called things into being as if they were…They stood on the Word and promise…They spoke life instead of death…

Perhaps we should take their example.

1. Speak life into our prodigal’s lives.

Luke 6:28 “Bless and show kindness to those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (AMP)

2. Be patient while God works.

Lamentations 3:25 “The Lord is good to those who wait (confidently) for Him, to those who seek Him (on authority of God’s word).  (AMP)

3. Surround yourself with godly people.

Proverbs 11:14 “Where there is no (wise, intelligent) guidance, the people fall (and go off course like a ship without a helm), but in the abundance of (wise and godly) counselors there is victory”. (AMP) (Emphasis my own)

Hold on dear friends, those standing in the gap for others…They don’t know that they need you but they do. Father has given you a noble vision. He has entrusted you to stand in the gap for a loved one…Don’t give up on Him and don’t give up on your loved one…

For if you do not stand in the gap for them “Who will?”

Have you received an instruction from our Father to stand in the gap for someone?

Decide today to be obedient. He does not disappoint. There is no telling what your prayers will mean to your loved one.

Join us on face book – Come encourage and find encouragement in a group of like-minded people with similar struggles and hopes.

*Hugs* till next time.

Ariéte

Modern Day Samaritan Woman

FIVE MINUTE FRIDAY

DECIDE

When time permits I join a group of writers for Five Minute Friday, hosted by Kate Motaung. Every week we write for five minutes after receiving a one word prompt. No editing or over thinking involved….Just writing for the love of writing. For more information please visit Kate Motaung at Heading Home. 

 The word for this week is:

START:

Sometimes when we decide to do something in obedience to Father, we can’t always know or predict just how that one act of simple obedience can open up a door to us that we were not even aware of. Sometimes the instruction doesn’t always make sense to us, or we feel foolish when contemplating it.

In September 2015, I was convicted to start wearing a head covering during prayer. Although it took me a few weeks to reach the point of obedience, it really wasn’t such a difficult thing to do. You can read about that journey here. 

Several months have unfolded since that time and my life has taken quite a few knocks and turns, yet the rewards that occurred as a result of being obedient have been incalculable to me.

Holy Spirit took me on a journey in my prayer life that cannot ever be measured. He taught me how to pray and intercede for my loved ones, my marriage, my country and beyond.

The adventure in the spirit realm has been unlike any I have ever experienced. From pray-er, to pleader, to Warrior… The vastness and depths and substance of physically becoming engaged in the battle cannot even be explained in words.

One wall in my prayer room became an entire room covered with blessings, versus, warfare and more. More and more names were added to the wall of prayer. Promptings to perform certain acts prophetically were added to the fray until I understood precisely what I was doing and even why.

With hindsight I understand a lot better why I had to wear the head covering. Father wanted me to understand that when I cover my head I am declaring to the physical and spiritual realm that I am submitting to His Order and His Government; and therefore to His Protection.

In doing so, He in turn could lead me to higher, deeper things.

No, we do not always understand why we are required to perform certain instructions, yet those simple acts of obedience can certainly change our lives.

Have you received an instruction from our Father that seems unexplainable?

Decide today to be obedient. He does not disappoint. There is no telling where that simple act of obedience will take you.

END

*Hugs* till next time.

Ariéte

Modern Day Samaritan Woman

Update: Interceding for My Broken Marriage

Reaching Deep Within…Soaking at Jesus Feet 

Part 1 & Part 2

The time has come to update my progress regarding my mission to intercede for my marriage and I can testify that the past few months has been the most challenging of my life to date, both personally and spiritually. Needless to say this challenge has become the key focus of my life and prayer life…

However, the deeper that I pressed into prayer and intercession, the deeper Father took me into a time of serious self-reflection and examination.

While my husband I have at reached a point of honest dialogue, it is a case of one step forward and three steps back. Like a dance between two broken people with no co-ordination or rhythm we seem to be missing the mark altogether. My heart cries out “How Long?” while my spirit whispers “Be patient…Father is working!”

The following is what I have learned:

Practical Lessons: Operating in the spirit versus operating in the flesh

Each dashed hope and disappointment revealed to me how quickly the flesh rises and wants to dominate. I admit I didn’t immediately understand what was happening, until I found myself operating in the spirit on one such occasion and Holy Spirit impressing on my heart to notice the difference. I believe that this has been a time of “Practical Training” for me to be able to clearly experience and discern the difference between operating in the flesh and operating in the spirit. Father wanted me to realise that the flesh requires justice, justification and vindication, while the spirit merely seeks reconciliation with no benefit whatsoever. There are greater things at stake than my comfort, justification or reputation.

I haven’t yet mastered the spirit controlling the flesh, but I now have a clear understanding of the difference and am able to step back for a moment or two to compose myself, hold my thoughts captive, call on Holy Spirit for assistance and adjust my mind-set to permit the spirit to gain control.

Prayer Lessons: Praying in the spirit versus praying in the flesh

Mr Prayer life has also grown significantly in that my prayers for my husband alternate between speaking life into his life, his work and his very existence…… to direct and confrontational warfare on several fronts. (Thankfully, Father has already placed Prayer Warriors into my life that I trust and I know support me during these prayer times). This is a training in progress and as I have asked Him to teach my hands to war; so has Father revealed to me the necessity of my direct prayer involvement for the people that He has placed into my life. When He asked me “How sincere was I when I said my vows?” “How pure was my love for my husband?” He was forcing me to self-reflect on the answers to those questions.

I have learned that when I am praying in the flesh, my prayers,  however eloquent they may be are superficial and for the most part miss the point; however when I am praying in the spirit my heart taps into the heart of God. I can’t help but weep as I stand in the gap for my husband and our marriage and that which God had intended for us. I become aware of other marriages in crises and can weep openly for bleeding marriages everywhere without truly knowing the circumstances. I just know that my Father’s Heart grieves these tragic losses and this motivates me to pray harder.

Personal Growth Lessons: Fathers Will versus my will

I am learning to be patient and to trust in Fathers perfect timing. There are still times when I fail and then I reach out to my trusted girlfriends, who immediately stand in the gap and pray for me offering me strength and understanding. I have learned the true value of genuine friendship.

I have learned that my life is in God’s hands and that He is in control regardless of the circumstances. His timing is perfect and He won’t be rushed or “nagged” into a position, but He does require my active participation. I cannot sit in the back ground and do nothing at all. If I truly want this then I must pray and participate at all times, I must intercede when prompted to, I MUST LISTEN to the instructions of Holy Spirit and I MUST respond to what I hear. The time for passive Christianity, for me has passed.

When I am instructed to perform some task prophetically, I am required to perform those tasks physically with no hesitation. Interestingly, I am always completely aware of “why” specific prophetic tasks are required. Holy Spirit is an excellent communicator and I cannot say I don’t understand; therefore my absolute obedience is required.

I have learned to read my bible to seek Gods Will regarding various issues, as I will not be able to pray effectively in His Will, if I don’t have a clear understanding of His Will, and purpose and resolutions regarding the concerns I am praying about.

I have learned that in order to have hands that are trained to war I have to make absolutely certain that my hands are clean. (Hence the serious self-reflection and examination mentioned earlier). I have learned that buried in my own heart and soul are seeds of discontent and strongholds that require my attention.

I have learned my capacity to love in spite of opposition and heartbreak. Each broken piece of my heart truly screams out its love for My FATHER in heaven and in turn for my husband whom I absolutely adore above all other men on this planet. It is this love that motivates me daily to pray, to press on, to intercede and to dare to hope.

I have learned that loyalty requires no promise, no interaction and no justification. It simply is… We are either loyal to the point of death or we are not.

So my sister and my brother, if you are in a similar position and are standing in the gap for your marriage, your children, your parents, or friends…I want to encourage you to stand strong, press in to Father, go sit on His lap if need be, trust Holy Spirit to guide your prayers and know and appreciate that it is only because of the redemptive work of our Precious Lord Jesus that we have the privilege of bringing our loved ones to the throne at all.

May Psalm 18: 16 – 24 be an encouragement today

“But me he caught—reached all the way
    from sky to sea; he pulled me out
Of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos,
    the void in which I was drowning.
They hit me when I was down,
    but God stuck by me.
He stood me up on a wide-open field;
    I stood there saved—surprised to be loved!

God made my life complete
    when I placed all the pieces before him.
When I got my act together,
    he gave me a fresh start.
Now I’m alert to God’s ways;
    I don’t take God for granted.
Every day I review the ways he works;
    I try not to miss a trick.
I feel put back together,
    and I’m watching my step.
God rewrote the text of my life
    when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes."

(The Message)

*Hugs* till next time

Ariete

Modern Day Samaritan Woman

Living on the Currency of Faith

All people have a measure of faith.

Whether we are believers, agnostics, atheists, babies, children, adults or aged we all have a measure of faith and it really doesn’t matter what we want to call it…at its very essence we live and function on this measure (currency) of faith.

Scripture confirms this in Romans 12:3 “For by the grace [of God] given to me I say to every one of you not to think more highly of himself [and of his importance and ability] than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has apportioned to each a degree of faith [and a purpose designed for service]. AMP (Emphasis my own)

I am personally very thankful for this measure of faith which never runs out because without faith I would not have survived some of the things that have occurred in my life.

Faith tucks me into bed at night…

assuring me that my Maker is watching over me in a world where violence and destruction has become the norm. Revelation 2:10 “Fear nothing that you are about to suffer. Be aware that the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested [in your faith], and for ten days you will have tribulation. Be faithful to the point of death [if you must die for your faith], and I will give you the crown [consisting] of life.” AMP

Faith wakes me up in the morning…

nudging me into the early morning air to face a new day with hope and expectation.

Faith carries me gently and consistently...

 during times of trial and troubles… comforting me in the knowledge that I will survive, I will overcome and I will be victorious despite all the evidence to the contrary. Romans 5:2 “Through Him we also have access by faith into this [remarkable state of] grace in which we [firmly and safely and securely] stand. Let us rejoice in our hope and the confident assurance of [experiencing and enjoying] the glory of [our great] God [the manifestation of His excellence and power].” AMP (Emphasis my own)

Faith shoves me from behind...

 when boldness is called for, convincing me that I am able and quite capable to do that which requires courage and braveness.

Faith is a constant companion...

 during the mundane days when the steady rhythm of routine dulls the mind.

Faith is the strength.... 

I draw on during the times of busy-ness and activity that wears me down…

Faith is the instrument... 

by which I not only speak to my Maker but also hear when He speaks to me.

Faith is the transcriber... 

when I read the scriptures and internalize the promises and exhortations I read…

Faith is my prescription....

 in time of illness.Matthew 9:22 “But Jesus turning and seeing her said, “Take courage, daughter; your [personal trust and confident] faith [in Me] has made you well.” And at once the woman was [completely] healed.” AMP 

Faith is indeed for me.... 

“the assurance (title deed, confirmation) of things hoped for (divinely guaranteed), and the evidence of things not seen [the conviction of their reality—faith comprehends as fact what cannot be experienced by the physical senses].” AMP Hebrews 11:1. (Emphasis my own)

Faith is my life line.... 

to an eternal life reconciled to my Father and Saviour. Revelation 21:7 “He who overcomes [the world by adhering faithfully to Christ Jesus as Lord and Savior] will inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be My son.” AMP

Yes, I am very thankful for my portion of faith. It surely carries me through everything, accompanies me everywhere and helps me live my life in the safety net provided by my Father in Heaven.

Have you ever truly thought about your faith and how much you rely on it? Do so today. I’m certain you will find as I did that the gift of faith is truly a remarkable blessing bestowed on us from above.

*Hugs* till next time

Ariete