A Test in Obedience – 31 Days
Head Covering / Prayer Room / Facing Giants
Day 8 : FIERY DARTS/ RAGE/ HELPLESSNESS
The deeper I press into this challenge the more difficult it appears to be. Apart from my own natural resistance and lethargy at the end of the day, I find that distractions come from unexpected places. These distractions (attacks) seem to come randomly and no matter how peaceful and calm my attitude is they still tend to throw me off my intended course.
Day 8 was just such a day. I arrived home after work in a pleasant mood, only to find my pocket sized Chihuahua (Griffon) running around outside. This is something I NEVER EVER RISK, as he is very tiny and we live on a small holding with all sorts of huge dogs, as well as horses, sheep and donkeys. There are just too many risks involved and I always keep him locked indoors and only take him out when I am present to protect him. Apart from the dangers from other animals, there is the added risk of him departing from the premises altogether, as he is small enough to fit through the perimeter fencing, and becoming lost or worse stolen.
I can hardly describe in words how angry I became at finding him outside. I became even angrier when I enquired as to how and why he was outside and the responsible person was indifferent with a “couldn’t care less” attitude.
The confrontation that followed was ugly leading to a personal assault on my status as the woman of the house. The implication being that as the third (3rd) wife my opinion hardly matters, as I won’t be around long enough anyway. Needless to say that by the time I had calmed down long enough to go into my time of prayer, I couldn’t concentrate or stop the voices in my head. I kept imagining all the possible scenarios of what could have happened.
Griffey could have gotten lost, or stolen, or killed, or torn apart by the large dogs, and/or trampled underfoot by the horses and donkeys. The imagined pain that any of the above possibilities would have brought was tangible, bringing with it feelings of helplessness. I had left him safe in my bedroom behind a closed door, when I departed that morning. How long was he outside and how often had this happened before? How can I prevent this happening again? How can I protect my beloved Griffey, in this house of indifference? Is my own bedroom not even sacred and private?
I mention this lengthy personal issue only to demonstrate how devious the enemy of our souls is. Of all the possible problems that could have occurred on that day, this one was not something I had ever imagined occurring; therefore I was totally unprepared for it. It came from nowhere, and escalated to a personal attack on my status as woman of the house. All women know that this is scared turf…My status as wife is a serious matter for me. My care of my home and family, as well as my intercession for my family is all closely intertwined into my personality. The enemy knows this and fired his deadly, fiery darts exactly to the core (of my being) disabling me and short circuiting any effective prayer for that evening.
I never the less am committed to the challenge so I put on my head covering, which incidentally is becoming as beloved to me as my bible. I love the texture of the fabric against my skin, and I love the feeling of femininity and modesty that has developed when I wear it. Whether or not it is necessary or not, it is now a part of my prayer routine…
That night I was led by Holy Spirit to understand that my battle is not against flesh and blood and that with each new level…there will be new devils…and distractions.
My responsibility is to focus wholeheartedly on that which truly matters.
Nehemiah 6: 2 - 3 says “ I knew they were scheming to hurt me so I sent messengers back with this: “I’m doing a great work; I can’t come down.
Why should the work come to a standstill just so I can come down to see you?”
The Message (Emphasis my own)
Nehemiah’s enemies sent him five (5) messages, one after the other, to distract him from his purpose of rebuilding the wall and each time he denied them. He understood and recognised what was happening and wouldn’t allow the distractions to prevent the wall being completed.
Nehemiah 6: 9 says “They were trying to intimidate us into quitting. They thought, “They’ll give up; they’ll never finish it.”
I prayed, “Give me strength.”
The Message (Emphasis my own)
Spiritual Lesson :
I need to understand that my battle is not against flesh and blood and that I need to apply the Armour of God, daily in this struggle and in this challenge.
I do not know what lies in the balance.
I do not know what the distractions cost me and / or my loved ones in the unseen realm. In order to effectively pray, press into my purpose to worship God as He deserves and simultaneously stand in the gap for my loved ones, I need to discern between the distractions and ward them off.
Physical Lesson :
The prayer shawl is now a constant companion. I enjoy wearing it and look forward to acquiring more of them. The prayer shawl is mentioned in several articles that I have read, as being symbolic of Gods Order…and in wearing it, I am certainly aware of my gender in ways I have never considered before. I also particularly like the thought that in wearing my prayer shawl, I am displaying to the unseen realm that I am voluntarily submitting to God.
Father, this is a very real battle and there are just too many pressures and distractions to foresee and ward of. Please guide us and help us to effectually resist the devil and his distractions. Help us to press into You and find Your Will for us.
In Jesus Name we pray…Amen!!!
*Hugs* till next time.